The gender SAY gap (and how to close it)
In a week where we talk about the gender pay gap, I want to talk about something we hear every day but rarely name.
The Gender SAY Gap.
The gap between who speaks, who is heard, and whose voice is taken seriously.
Research shows:
Women are interrupted more than men in meetings
Assertiveness in men is rewarded, but penalised in women
The stereotype that women “talk too much” isn’t supported by evidence
Women remain underrepresented as expert voices in news coverage
We see this play out in the media.
At the Winter Olympics, Eileen Gu gave incredibly articulate responses to journalists – and received commentary not about her performance, but about her tone of voice:
“She’s too defensive.”
“Incredibly off-putting.”
“Completely lacking in humility and grace.”
Nicole Joy did a fantastic video on this.
And recently, Prime Minister Anthony Albanese described Grace Tame as “difficult” - a word that, fairly or not, lands differently when applied to outspoken women.
Whether intentional or instinctive, these moments reveal how entrenched expectations around women’s voices still are.
As a voice and speaking coach, I hear the first-hand accounts:
“Every time I go to speak, I get shut down.”
“I’m scared of being called difficult or too emotional.”
“I share an idea, no one reacts - then someone else says the same thing and it’s the best idea ever.”
And yes — I’ve been in meetings where it was assumed I’d stay quiet and take the minutes.
The AUDACITY!
Just like the gender pay gap, we won’t close the gender voice gap overnight.
And we can rant and rave about the oppressive, unfair systems that women's voices exist in until the wine runs dry.
But the more productive work is to empower individual voices. To empower YOUR voice.
We can close the Gender SAY Gap one voice at a time.
As I say to my clients: you can’t dickhead-proof a situation.
But you can teach people how to listen to you.
So ladies, here’s what we’re doing.
1. Enter the conversation with intention
No more: “Oh, um, I was just wondering if maybe…”
Start with intention.
Use breath, use volume and use gesture.
Speak with the energy of a frog jumping out of your mouth!
2. Land your inflection
You know how we can tend to go up? At the end of every sentence?
When overused, it can sound like you’re seeking validation and it’s killing your credibility.
Sure, rise when you’re not finished speaking. But when you are finished – land that inflection like a dart hitting a dart board.
(There’s a whole chapter in my book Voiceprint to make you an expert in inflection).
3. Speak from the heart
And I’m talking physically! You want to feel your vocal vibrations behind the walls of your chest.
Many women are socialised to keep their voices physically small – the vibrations are stuck up in the head. And before you know it, you ascend into a pitch only dogs and small children can hear.
Heart resonance is lower and more embodied. It sounds genuine and connects with your listener.
But, please, don’t turn these tips into more rules you need to master before speaking up.
Because the worst kind of voice you can use is no voice at all.
Share your value, shut down interruptions and lead the way for other women.
Pioneer the closure of the gender voice gap in your own life.
And celebrate every woman who’s with right there with you.
What do you say?
Sally Prosser is a voice and public speaking coach and author of Voiceprint. Follow her @sallyprosservoice