222. Using your voice in moments that matter

T/W - Our family is coming to grips with a terrible tragedy.

My mum's beloved husband Gaz was killed in a plane crash in October 2024.

In this episode I share the importance of understanding:

💙 Your voice is a gift.

💙 Don't be afraid to speak your truth.

💙 Speaking skills are life and death skills.

Welcome back to a brand new season of That Voice Podcast.

As many of you would have heard during the podcast break our family was hit with a terrible tragedy.

It was October 26, a Saturday, Patrick and I had just got home from voting – it was State Election day in my state of Queensland, and so we had the news on to check out the election coverage and a brief news story came up about a light plane crash west of Sydney which killed 3 men. Two aircraft somehow collided.

And a few minutes later I got a call from my mum.

Her husband Gary was in one of those planes.

They’d just celebrated their 14th wedding anniversary.

We’re absolutely devastated. And no one more so than my mum who’s had her future stripped away so violently.

And I’m sharing this with you because with everything that’s happened it’s reaffirmed three big beliefs I have about voice and why I do this work, and if what I’m openly, vulnerably sharing with you in this episode doesn’t give you a soul igniting reason to use your voice in moments that really matter… I don’t know what will.

The first belief is – your voice is a gift.

For the memorial I put together a few videos featuring photo montages of Gary and of course it’s so beautiful and emotional to see photos of someone who has died. It doesn’t hit the vibrational core like hearing their voice.

Hearing someone’s voice is the closest thing to touching them.

And we were fortunate to have a few videos of Gaz speaking and also a podcast episode he was a guest on – The Aviation Podcast. And we were able to share a story in his voice. We also got his voice message from Telstra, which showed  his personality. I’ll play a tiny bit …

The voice is the organ of the soul, so being able to hear Gary’s voice has allowed us to feel a connection that can’t be achieved through looking at photos.

I implore you. Send voice messages to those you love. Record videos. Capture your voice. It is a gift. And when you’re gone it will be the most valuable gift you can leave those left behind.

The second belief that’s been reaffirmed through this scenario.. is to not be afraid to share your truth.

And to do that make value-based voice decisions.

This is especially important for those of us who have businesses, especially personal brand service-based businesses.

The shock and grief and heaviness is so strong, and there are questions around Should I communicate this? How should I communicate it? Who needs to know? What do they need to know. What do I cancel? What I do I show up to?

And there is no right or wrong with these questions.

I looked at my values of authenticity, connection, realness and knew I wanted my community especially my clients and Soul Speakers to know what was going on.

And by being open and vulnerable in talking and writing about this – and I’m continuing to do this now – people have been able to support me.

And here’s the thing about life. Shitty awful, unthinkable things happen and I’ve had clients in the past not want to share anything for fear of being judged negatively. Like if I share I’m struggling, or had something awful happen, they’ll think I’m not able to competently do my job or serve them.

But I’ve found it’s not the case. People have increased their level of trust and belief in me as a coach, because I’ve been authentic and vulnerable with my reality. And honestly, my follower count has gone down, and I couldn’t be happier. Because when we speak we show who we are allowing the people who are not for us to self-select out.

So knowing your values and making decisions based on those values is so useful. And if you are going through something negative in your life, I would really encourage you to share that truth. It doesn’t have to be a rolling live feed on tiktok, I’ve actually pulled back from social media, but it’s about being intentional about who you tell and trusting they can not only hold that vulnerability but provide support and fortify human connection.

That is the power of staying authentic even though it’s not pretty.

The power of using your voice even thought it might waver.

And finally it’s the belief that voice and speaking skills are life and death skills.

I did the eulogy for my own dad 10 years ago.

And last week hosted the memorial for Gaz.

On stage in front of a sea of almost 300 heartbroken people, so many people came to pay respects.

This is why speaking confidence matters.

Sure you can grow your business, advance your career, build better relationships and all the things I usually talk about on this podcast.

But it's so much deeper than that.

If you don't have the skills and confidence to use your voice for those you love in life's moments that really matter... what is the point?

I got through of course. I knew all the strategies to stop emotions hijacking my voice, I'd practised and I'm very familiar with speaking to big crowds.

The thing that moved me most, was seeing my mum stand up on stage and speak about her beloved husband in a clear and confident voice.

The plan was for my older sister to read the statement, but mum was determined to speak her words in her voice, and I am in tears writing this because of how proud I am of her. She even had humour in her speech.

If a grieving widow can stand on stage and speak into a microphone a few weeks after losing her whole world....

You can ...... speak anywhere you want.

Our family has a long road ahead, especially mum. And I will be turning to my own mentors and coaches to help. In times like this it’s important to surround yourself with the love and expertise of other people.

And I really want to thank every one of you who messaged me sending love and kinds words.

Remember, your voice is a gift, don’t be afraid to share your truth and please invest in your voice and speaking skills because you’ll need them in those moments that really matter in life.

Sending lots of love to you today, especially if you’re experiencing the weight of loss and grief.

For today, I want to give the last word to Gaz.