297. It's good to be a TRYHARD

In this episode, I’m making the case for being a tryhard. 

Somewhere along the way, “try-hard” became an insult. A way of shaming people for caring too much, putting in effort, or being seen to want something badly. 

Trying isn’t embarrassing.

I explore how we often mistake our current ability for our future potential, and why so many people shut down their dreams before they’ve even given themselves a chance to begin.

We also go deeper into the real fear holding people back - not failure itself but being seen failing. And why so many people stay silent, stay small, or stay “safe” because they don’t want to look awkward while they learn.

Because confidence doesn’t come first. Trying does.

If you’ve ever held yourself back because you didn’t feel ready, this one’s for you.

Transcript

Come on, don’t be such a try-hard!

Have you ever heard this?

The word try-hard is levelled as an insult. You’re having a go at someone.

“You’ve put in too much effort, too much enthusiasm, too much emotion.”

“Trying too hard. Try-hard. Oh my God.”

Somewhere along the way we decided—I don’t know who we is—but we decided it was cooler to not care. Cooler to look effortless, like amazing success just happened.

“Oh, I barely studied.”

“I just woke up like this.”

“I’m just lucky.”

I realise I’m a millennial, and my use of the word cool comes across as cringe to some people. My beautiful young nieces tell me cool is not the word, it’s lit or slay. But if I use Gen Z language, you got it—I’m a try-hard.

The bottom line is: why are we insulting people for trying?

It’s ridiculous.

So today, in Episode 297 of That Voice Podcast, I’m here to make the case for being a try-hard.

And like so many of these podcasts, it’s inspired by real-life events.

So, you know I turned 40 last year—my very freexy forty. We went to the Icehotel in Sweden, and I’m now more than six months into my 40s, so I put together my 50 Before 50 list with a bunch of things I want to achieve this decade.

One is hopefully happening very soon. We leave at the end of August to walk the Camino de Santiago in Spain. We’re doing around 850 kilometres of the northern route.

I’m in full walking training, and being out and about with the fit people of Brisbane has inspired me this decade to do something that garnered this response from my mum:

“Oh, you can’t do that.”

Now, she’s pretty encouraging and has held a huge amount of belief and faith in me. I’m very fortunate to have that upbringing. But when I declared I was going to run a marathon...

That’s when she shut it down.

Now, a marathon is around 42 kilometres. And in the last ten years, I’ve probably run less than one kilometre.

Pair that with the fact that I’m built like a chicken—big breasts, stick legs—it’s not really the running physique.

I have a bit of a dodgy left knee. It’s a bad case of Osgood-Schlatter disease, which has been around since my childhood netball days.

And I could spend this whole podcast sharing all the reasons why I will never run a marathon.

But the fact is, I haven’t even tried.

And that’s what I said to Mum. I’m going to build up to it. Start with a 5, then a 10, then maybe a half, and maybe I won’t even be able to do that. But if I don’t even try, I’m guaranteed to never do it.

I don’t know what I’m capable of.

I never thought I’d stand up in Bird of Paradise in yoga, and after years of trying, I can do that on a good day.

Don’t decide on your potential before you’ve given it a nudge.

Don’t let your present self sabotage your future self.

Because that’s what happens. We judge ourselves based on where we are now instead of where we could be... by trying.

In the past I saw myself as not a runner, and so I didn’t run.

I hear things like:

“Oh, I’m terrible on camera...” after maybe one or two videos.

“I’m a shocking public speaker...” after one half-arsed presentation.

In my book Voiceprint, I’ve got this great quote on page 78: “It’s easy to wing it when you’ve been preparing your whole life.”

Because it’s easier to just think someone has a magic running or speaking gene that you simply don’t have...

...than to face the fact that they tried, and you can too.

So what’s holding us back?

There’s that saying, “Better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all.”

So it might seem like not wanting to try is a fear of failing.

But my take is that, in this world of social media and iPhones, it’s more a fear of being seen failing.

I don’t think people are scared to try. I think they’re afraid of people watching them fail.

Taylor Swift, who has a song called This Is Me Trying, actually spoke about this when she addressed musicians and said she had the luxury of honing her craft unobserved, and that anything you feed the internet will attempt to kill you.

Now, the very nature of something like posting face-to-camera videos and doing public speaking—the nature of that is to be observed. If you’re not being heard by someone, it’s not public speaking.

And so this can put people—I see it all the time—into a paralysis where they have a message to share, a business to grow, value to give, but that fear of being seen to fail prevents them from trying.

Yet the only way to do the thing is to try to do the thing. Is to give it a go.

You might have seen last week I launched a brand new course, The Certified Voiceprint Leader. This eight-week course is going to be my best yet. It’s not just teaching content that will change you as a speaker; it’s teaching how to teach others. All my methodology. All my frameworks. If you’re keen, DM me.

So I’m a big believer in test before invest, and so I wanted to test the market with this course before embarking on the enormous amount of work required to deliver it.

I made a 10-minute video covering the basics and said I needed 15 people signed up in 48 hours for me to even go ahead with it.

Now, this was public. Socials, emails, the whole bit.

Now, I failed to meet that number.

But I’m a proud try-hard, and I’m proud of myself for coming up with the concept, putting myself out there, and getting nine amazing soon-to-be Voiceprint Leaders signed up and excited.

So we’re going ahead.

I’m pressing play on a major launch when I get it together.

And it wasn’t a failed experiment.

The only launch guaranteed to fail is the one that never happens.

The video guaranteed to flop is the one you never post.

The opportunity guaranteed to fall through is the one you never go for.

As a voice and speaking coach, I see that people don’t avoid speaking because they hate speaking.

They avoid it because they don’t want to look awkward or cringe.

A client of mine knows he needs to talk to the camera more for his business socials, but every time the phone is in his face, he’s like, “Piss off.”

And I said, “Why do you do that?”

And he’s like, “I don’t want to look like a dickhead.”

And as a friend I say, “You won’t look like a dickhead.”

And as a coach I say, “Who cares if you do? You’re new to it. It’s going to be cringe.”

In fact, I post prolifically and have done for years, and I think most of my content is super cringe.

It’s also super beside the point.

And I’m out there trying.

If you think, “Wow, that’s better than what I can do,” I guarantee I’ve been trying for a lot more years than you.

And that’s what we do in my program Soul Speakers. We get in there, learn the craft, build the confidence, support each other, and have a damn try.

Yes, we as a society celebrate excellence, the polished performances. We see the highlight reel.

It all started with shaky trying.

So here’s my invitation to you today.

Be a try-hard.

Put your effort and heart and sweat and tears into your goals, and make no apology for that.

And yes, if you’re in the early stages, it is harder.

You’ve got to push that boulder to get it moving.

You’ve got to get the plane airborne.

You’ve got to try hard.

So be it.

Be a try-hard.

Be the one who signs up before they’re ready.

Be the one who posts the first video.

Who launches the course.

Who looks a bit cringe.

Be the one who looks like an injured donkey ambling along the Brisbane River in marathon training.

Because every person you admire was once—and likely still is—a major try-hard.

That is how they did it.

Natural talent is overrated.

Grit is actually where it’s at. Angela Duckworth—great book. Essentially, it’s passion and perseverance. Trying and trying again and trying some more.

Don’t decide your potential before you’ve even given it a nudge.

Because the people who leave the biggest impression aren’t the ones who get it perfect the first time.

They don’t fluke it.

They’re the ones with the guts to keep trying.

So if you have a dream, a goal, a mission, a message to voice...

Then get on board with trying.

Because it is good to be a try-hard.