253. Don't like your voice? Listen in
🩷 If you’ve ever cringed hearing your voice on a recording, this episode is for you.
You're not broken, you're just experiencing Voice Confrontation, a super common phenomenon that messes with our self-perception.
But here's the good news: You can learn to love the sound of you.
💡 In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why your voice sounds different to you vs. on a recording
How your inner voice identity clashes with your outer sound
The psychology behind voice cringe and why self-love starts with vocal acceptance
A simple two-step exercise to heal your relationship with your voice
❤️‍🔥 If your relationship with your voice is a situationship, or worse, a ghosting situation… it’s time to raise your standards.
🎧 Listen now. Love your voice. And let’s make some magic.
Transcript
“If you look real close at the inside of my office door, you’ll see them. Scratch marks. I don’t have a cat or a puppy. However, I have had many a client want to claw their way out in horror at the sound of their voice played back. Maybe you can relate.
Do you hate the sound of your voice?
The speed with which you answer yes to that question is telling! When I said, “put a stake in your sound”, I didn’t mean stab the metaphoric love-heart cake of your voice. I was thinking more cupid-style. By the end of this chapter, you’ll be wining and dining your voice like the soulmate you forgot you had.”
And that my podcast friends is the opening to a very important chapter in my book VOICEPRINT called OPERATION VOICE CUPID.
Have you pre-ordered yet? Remember if you send me your receipt you get an exclusive voice note of me reading the whole first chapter – PLUS the chance to buy tickets to the big book launch party in Brisbane at Blackbird on December 7th.
This book is edutainment. It’s full of stories, it’s practical, it’s soulful and I’m bloody proud I actually wrote it. It’s such a big milestone for me. If you’ve been with us here on That Voice Podcast for a while it would mean so much for you to support my book by pre-ordering it.
By the way if you’re overseas.. I’m still waiting on the international link to come live, at the moment this is just for Australia and New Zealand.
If you are new to the podcast, reading this pocket rocket of a book. It is small and it is short, will give you an insight into what holistic voice coaching is all about – and promise you’ll get a laugh.
Now in this episode of That Voice Podcast.
Don’t like your voice?… listen in.
We gotta change that. And I’m going to share the simple exercise you can do to change the game.
If you don’t love the sound of your voice how can you expect anyone else to?
It’s such a core facet of self-love.
But if you cringe when you hear your voice on a recording, you’re not alone. It’s such a common phenomenon it has a name – Voice Confrontation.
And look I’ll be honest, listening to early episodes of this podcast, early tiktoks and especially early news reports does make me scrunch up my nose. Our voice does change over time, and you do sound different to yourself when you’re speaking compared to hearing your voice played back.
You know how your voice sounds good in the shower? Well, when you hear yourself speaking in real-time, it’s like a built-in shower voice because you’re hearing the vibrations through your skull. It’s called bone conduction, which gives your voice a deeper, richer, warmer quality. When you hear your voice on a recording it’s through air conduction – the sound waves leave the speaker, travel through the air and are picked up by your ears. It sounds higher, thinner and unfamiliar.
Hearing your voice on a recording can be a psychological shock.
Your brain has created an identity around how you think you sound. When you hear a recording that doesn’t match your internal perception, it feels off.
Negative self-judgment festers because our voice is so deeply tied to our identity. If your voice doesn’t align with how you want to be seen and heard, you’ll instinctively reject it. When listening to a recording you become hyper-aware of every little imperfection, especially if you tend to be your own worst critic.
How many times have you recorded a voicemail and re-recorded it ten times because “you sounded weird”? Or how often did you decide not to post a video because you didn’t like your voice? “Ew, do I really sound like that?” is a common complaint I hear from clients. “Can you fix it?”
Here’s the truth:
Your voice doesn’t need fixing. It needs friendship.
Not only can you learn to love your voice – you must.
If you want your voice to leave a positive impression when you speak, you need to hold a positive impression of your voice. Imagine if you physically cringed and recoiled every time you saw a friend. They’d probably ghost you, let alone come to your aid in times of need. Your voice is the same. Show it compassion, understanding, love and appreciation – and it will be there for you.
Your voice is like a pet. Neglect it, cringe, recoil, abuse it… it’s gonna turn around and bite you! But if you show your voice love, care and attention it will cuddle up to you.
How do you get to that point? Start with a date and let the love for your voice blossom. Familiarity builds fondness.
So I have a little exercise I call OPERATION VOICE CUPID – the same as the chapter in my book VOICEPRINT – pause right now and please pre-order. Buying the book when it comes out doesn’t help me as an author nearly as much as the pre-sales do.
So step one of Operation Voice Cupid is to record yourself in a safe space.
Record a podcast or social media video or even voice record your shopping list onto your phone. The content doesn’t matter.
Step 2: Listen with curiosity, not judgment
Play back the recording and listen as if you’re hearing a friend, like it’s not your voice. Notice what you like and simply observe what you don’t.
And that’s it! Repeat often.
Familiarity builds fondness.
And please if your relationship with your voice is an on again off again situationship or a total ghosting scenario. Come on you’re better than this. We gotta raise our standards.
Your voice is an integral part of who you are.
Healing your relationship with your voice is healing your relationship with your greatest love – yourself. And if this concept brings up a bit of sick in your mouth, let me ask you this – who has a speaking voice you really love? Maybe Morgan Freeman or David Attenborough? Perhaps Kate Winslet or Meryl Streep is more your sound?
Would you swap voices with them if given the chance?
Freaky Friday style. Poof! One morning you sound exactly like that person. Really, would you? Every person I’ve ever worked with says no. Even people who were adamant they hated their voice when they walked in my office or showed up online for Soul Speakers.
So record yourself, listen with love not judgement.
Because the stronger connection you have with your voice, the stronger connection you’ll have with your audience.
So don’t like your voice? I hope you’re not leaning in to that question anymore….
PRE-ORDER VOICEPRINT on AMAZON and send me the receipt to get the bonuses and I will be back with a super special guest next week.