295. How to be authentic

Authenticity is one of the most overused and misunderstood words in personal development.

In this episode I explore why authenticity isn't about finding one "true self" and sharing everything with everyone.

You'll learn:

• Why your authentic self isn't one fixed version of you

• The difference between authenticity and oversharing

• What the "Authenticity Paradox" can teach us about trust

• Why cameras often make people feel less authentic

• How to show up genuinely while still being discerning

• Practical steps to develop an authentic speaking voice

Authenticity isn't a destination - it's a homecoming. And your voice is one of the most powerful ways to get there.

Transcript

Welcome back to That Voice Podcast.

A huge hello if you're joining us for the first time.

Authenticity is a topic that's been on my list to talk about for ages because it's such a buzzword. Everyone wants it. We all want to be authentic and show up authentically.

But it's also one of the most misunderstood concepts out there.

So in this episode, I'm breaking down what authenticity is, what it isn't, and how you can actually speak and show up with authenticity.

Because let's be honest—"Just be yourself" sounds great on a T-shirt, but it's not particularly helpful advice.

One of the biggest misconceptions is that your authentic self is not one thing. It is not one fixed version of yourself.

The authentic version of you relaxing with a friend is different from the authentic version of you at work, which is different from the authentic version of you at the gym.

Humans are multi-layered. We're shaped by our environment, experiences, social pressures, and personal growth. Most psychologists agree there isn't a single "true self" waiting to be discovered. Instead, there are many authentic parts of who we are.

Your authentic self is not one thing, and you get to consciously choose which parts of yourself to reveal and when.

I came face-to-face with this recently.

Over the last couple of months, I've been taking burlesque dance classes. I absolutely loved it. It culminated in a filmed performance in full burlesque costume—corset, fishnets, heels—the works.

And honestly, I felt completely authentic. It was fun, embodied, expressive, and very much me.

And yet, I've decided not to share that footage on my social media.

At the moment, I do a lot of corporate work with C-suite executives. When they're sitting in a coaching session with me, they probably don't need an image of me dancing in lingerie in the back of their minds. It could distract from the work we're there to do.

My authentic self lip-syncing to songs? Sure.

My authentic self breaking down famous speeches? Absolutely.

My authentic self sharing speaking tips and insights? Of course.

My authentic self dancing burlesque? Not publicly, at least not for now.

So I want to encourage you to take ownership of your authenticity.

You can be authentic and discerning.

You can be authentic and private.

Authenticity does not mean sharing everything. It means that what you do share is true.

You can choose to share one beautiful ripe cherry from the bunch without showing the entire tree. That doesn't make the cherry any less real.

In fact, researchers at Harvard have found that radical transparency can sometimes backfire. It can lead to oversharing, carelessness, and even reduce trust. They refer to this tension as the Authenticity Paradox—the friction between being true to yourself and adapting appropriately to the situation.

One place where this often shows up is social media.

Whether you're a business owner or an employee, I cannot recommend strongly enough the value of building a personal brand through sharing your voice online.

In the age of AI, your human voice is one of your greatest assets.

But putting a camera in front of your face can feel like an instant off-switch for authenticity.

Why?

Because the fear of being seen comes up.

The fear of getting it wrong comes up.

The fear of rejection comes up.

And often, it's simply a lack of familiarity.

My early pieces to camera as a reporter were pretty stiff. It's a strange experience at first.

Authenticity online doesn't happen automatically. You need practice.

You need to work through the beliefs and fears that keep you playing small.

And you need to develop the skills—what to say, how to say it, and how to feel comfortable expressing yourself.

That's exactly what we work on inside Soul Speakers.

And it's not just for social media. Maybe your challenge is speaking in a new workplace, on a big stage, in meetings, or around certain people.

Authenticity is contextual, and confidence is a skill.

Interestingly, the word authentic has evolved over time. In Ancient Greek, its roots were associated with a perpetrator or one who acts independently. Later, it evolved to mean acting with authority, and eventually came to mean being genuine and true to your nature.

To me, that's what voice coaching is all about.

It's about bringing you back home to the voice you've always had.

It's a major theme in my book VOICEPRINT and a central focus of Soul Speakers.

Authenticity is not a destination. It's a journey.

It's a process.

It's a homecoming.

And in this life, we have the opportunity to continually discover and express more of who we are.

One of the greatest privileges of my work is helping people align their voice with their authentic selves.

So if you're ready to embody your authentic voice, I'd love to welcome you into Soul Speakers.